20100517
- barbecue food is good. you invite me out to eat it, i should go. but i'm feeling kind of nervous and not quite myself, so im running late on purpose and i know this won't help how things have become between us. that if i go you'll give me help and that i don't know how to fix it, is making me unwell.
- i arrive at your house but you've just got up and you are wearing a towel and your eyes look dark. i help to dry your body and i see your cut so i give you a plaster and we cover it up. i say have you been crying and you say shut up, so we sit in the garden and touch grass with our hands. tThe sun is going down now and it's been okay, you tell me all the things you did while i was away, and this worries me so much..you say your fine.
- listen, can you hear it? if you speak, will i feel it? will it hurt? and i knew it, i dont know?
- i dont know how all people haven't got mental health problems, thinking is one of those stressful things i've ever come across and not being able to articulate what i want to say drives me crazy.
- i think i should try and read more books and learn some new words. my sister used to read the dictionary, i'm going to start with that.
- i'd like to travel, i want to see india and the pyramids, a whale and that race with all the bycicles in France.
- i'm not sure about rivers, they scare me. but i love swimming. i'm good at it. when i swim i think about numbers, i count the laps
- when i was younger i saw a house burnt down and i walked past it everyday for the next six years. derelict black chalky and dangerous i wondered if squatters lived there. still not sure but i know there were not any parties coz they were shit. after a while the council got round to tidying up the town making it less offeciencive here and there. they say it was a nice sore so they threw it down..behind the house there was a wall with a few bits of crappy graffiti and the word cunt written on it in massive letters and i walked pass that.
- i like sitting in the park and i like walking through it
- i like taking my dogs there and friends and i like being alone
- i like flowers and simplicity
- i like compassion and thoughtful gifts
- i like being able to shout but i wish i could be quiet, but when i'm quiet people think i'm sad. and usually i am.
- sometimes when i'm at a busy trainstation, somewhere big with noisy trains like kings cros,i feel like putting down my bags and shouting out because i have something to say.
don't you want to share the guilt?
don't think just try and sleep!
- i arrive at your house but you've just got up and you are wearing a towel and your eyes look dark. i help to dry your body and i see your cut so i give you a plaster and we cover it up. i say have you been crying and you say shut up, so we sit in the garden and touch grass with our hands. tThe sun is going down now and it's been okay, you tell me all the things you did while i was away, and this worries me so much..you say your fine.
- listen, can you hear it? if you speak, will i feel it? will it hurt? and i knew it, i dont know?
- i dont know how all people haven't got mental health problems, thinking is one of those stressful things i've ever come across and not being able to articulate what i want to say drives me crazy.
- i think i should try and read more books and learn some new words. my sister used to read the dictionary, i'm going to start with that.
- i'd like to travel, i want to see india and the pyramids, a whale and that race with all the bycicles in France.
- i'm not sure about rivers, they scare me. but i love swimming. i'm good at it. when i swim i think about numbers, i count the laps
- when i was younger i saw a house burnt down and i walked past it everyday for the next six years. derelict black chalky and dangerous i wondered if squatters lived there. still not sure but i know there were not any parties coz they were shit. after a while the council got round to tidying up the town making it less offeciencive here and there. they say it was a nice sore so they threw it down..behind the house there was a wall with a few bits of crappy graffiti and the word cunt written on it in massive letters and i walked pass that.
- i like sitting in the park and i like walking through it
- i like taking my dogs there and friends and i like being alone
- i like flowers and simplicity
- i like compassion and thoughtful gifts
- i like being able to shout but i wish i could be quiet, but when i'm quiet people think i'm sad. and usually i am.
- sometimes when i'm at a busy trainstation, somewhere big with noisy trains like kings cros,i feel like putting down my bags and shouting out because i have something to say.
don't you want to share the guilt?
don't think just try and sleep!
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